My appetite hasn’t been good. I been thinking too much. Thus, it affected my meal intakes. I didn’t sleep well either, nor did I have a fulfilling day. Eventhough, I have done my packing and preparation for the mob, I feel that I have missed out certain things in life that should be fulfilled.

I didn’t speak much to my parents today, I had no bother to speak to anyone. I needed time for myself. After so long unemployed and wonder of my prospects in life, I fell a little sick later at night. Probably due to unrealised pressure on myself, you can say it is stress. So right now I am ill. Not so sick till i can’t move but just feeling feverish and lacking of appetite to eat.

I learned from a few religious teachers that being sick is a test of one’s self. My dad told me, without sickness you will never appreciate your good health. And when you are sick, will you realise how frail a human being you truly are. When one’s sick, you start to seek help. Most I know will turn to the doctor, but I know that one you should to is Allah.

I have to admit, my days have been filled with hatred for the mistakes in the past I made. There were points in my life where I should have chosen a different path or I wouldn’t be in this situation. But today, I am letting it be a lesson in life. It is of no use crying over spilt milk, rather move on and make better informed decisions from the past mistakes that you have learned.

My mind suddenly moved from about myself to the Muslims. I cried yesterday realising how much in dire need for someone to lead us. To set things right. No I do not believe in the Second Coming of Isa a.s. for I believe Prophet Muhammad is the Final Prophet. Muslims are not what they used to be in the past. United, friendly, courteous, kind, …. instead our traits are linked with terror, hate, killing, murder…..

Why are we so sensitive to other’s who have not learned our religion and make false statement about Islam? Is the act of aggression and terror the answer? Shouldn’t we instead educate the public the true Islam, while at the same time, be proper Muslims ourselves?  So that we may know one another better and not live life together in suspicion of one another.

I came across this video, of a man who speaks inspirationally in front of Muslims and Non-Muslims. He is reminding about Allah’s commands in the Quran. I think he is saying it in the context of what is going on right now.

“O mankind! Lo! We have created you from male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware.” Quran 49:13